A wee bit fun for Burns nicht
Posted by alison at wakefieldlibraries
Upon Olympus’ cloody height Diana felt th’ heat.
In Caledonia’s sparkling burns resolved tae stoat her feit.
But as the bare-fit Goddess bathed she started in surprise
A sleekit ram in heather hid watched her wi’ lusty eyes.
Tae see me thus, the Goddess skirl’t, is death tae man or beast.
I’ll turn ye frae a Peepin Tam intae a noble feast.
She strack and there a haggis lay where ance had been a ram.
She sair’t him tae the Gods that nicht wi’ tatties and a dram.
‘Hoots mon!’ Apollo cried in awe, ‘This has Ambrosia beat.
We’ll leave Olympus far behind and move tae Arthur’s Seat.’
Syne Scotland by the Gods is blest’ as lang in but and ben
For aye the haggis is devoored, fit food for Gods and Men.
You can find the real thing here.